I think the sun’s rays may be healing me.
If you’ve read my “About Me” section you should know that I live in New York City, but if you didn’t have a chance to read it or this is your first time here, you know now. I live in a very boring, quiet, and residential area of Brooklyn. I always make the assertion that the most exciting thing about my neighborhood is the train station and I mean it.
I can travel throughout most boroughs within the city on $2.75. I consider that to be a semi steal yet low-key highway robbery considering how much subway fares have increased throughout the years. And raising the price of subway fare as opposed to lowering it never has any wiggle room.
I’ve been living in this little Brooklyn bubble for all of my young life, I’ve seldom explored and haven’t seen much of the world. I’m unable to name 10 Brooklyn streets or recommend someone a restaurant where they can get the most bang for their buck. I don’t know shit about my surroundings it’s like I’ve only been confined to the street I grew up on. I’ve made biased statements regarding New York in the past. I always claimed that I hated living here which isn’t a fair thing to say because I’ve never explored the city. I don’t actually hate New York, I hate what New York reminds me of and that’s the poverty I live in. For me, New York is a source of pain that I’d love to abandon and start anew.
Why I Started Going Outside:
I’m in college and my classroom is now online due to covid 19’s stubbornness. Staring at a white slide with black letters typed onto it for over an hour, and listening to my professor’s timid voice is like listening to a podcast which succeeds at driving me insane. This online shit literally sucks. I’m dying to smell the pages of fresh textbooks again, I’d love to hear the squeaky worn down desks scrape across the tile floors, I want to have an issue and be sent to ten different departments to receive different answers because no one knows what the fuck they’re talking about.
Online school made me lazy, bored, and unmotivated. I started half assing all of my assignments, and even though I wouldn’t be too active during the day I still felt physically tired and had a lack of energy. I’d go to sleep really late then wake up really early yet I never felt sleepy throughout the day. I remembered my psychology professor told my class that if we can’t sleep for long it’s most likely because we aren’t exerting enough energy throughout the day and I believed him. So one day I put my cheetah print converses on and started trekking.
One chilly evening I took a short 30-minute walk around my neighborhood. I normally have my headphones on at all times, but this time I decided to take them off. I’ve noticed that I walk very fast when I’m listening to music, I’m always in my own little whimsical world so much that I fail to notice and take in the world around me. I was now able to hear birds chirping, drivers starting their engines, and the dead leaves falling to the ground. My first walk wasn’t too long but in those 30 minutes I felt incredibly at peace, and all I really want is peace and pure quietness.
On Saturday I did my laundry, the laundromat is about a 2 block walk from my house and usually, I’d put my clothes in the washer, return home, go back to put my clothes in the dryer, return home again, then go back to pick up my freshly washed and dried fast fashion clothing. On this particular Saturday, I decided to stay outside, sit on a bench (I specifically chose a bench with little to no evidence of human civilization), and finish watching season 1 of a show called “Kidding”. I highly recommend you give this watch, it’s Jim Carey’s best work. Tell him I sent you.
On Monday, I woke up around 8 AM and started to complete work for my anthropology class. I ate a big breakfast which consisted of a very sweet orange, pancakes, eggs, bacon, and chia pudding. I washed the dishes, turned on my speaker to play Melanie Martinez, then proceeded to get dressed to take my little walk/ outside adventure.
Monday’s weather was really nice, the air was a mixture of cool and warm; almost as if the sun couldn’t decide on how radiation it wanted to give off. A lot of people were outside being amateur “bench warmers” exactly like me, most of the benches near the train station were occupied which served as the perfect excuse to be a “bench warmer” farther away from human civilization. I scored an empty bench and allowed the breeze to slap me across my round fat face. Mother Nature became an active participant in the ASMR community by making me sleepy.
What I’ve Noticed:
I don’t have the urge to use my phone as much, I can sit still and not feel bored out of my mind. Somehow I’m being slightly stimulated, I’m watching pigeons feed on plastic waste, I’m breathing in car exhaust from the passing cars, I’m watching dogs outrun their owners, and I’m seeing school buses, transport kids. Flowers are continuing to bloom while they’re surrounded by decaying plants.
I don’t feel as overwhelmed anymore, my headspace is more clearer, I’m sleeping earlier and feeling well rested, I’ve managed to check off every box on my to-do list. I’m actually being productive and getting shit done.
I’ve been in a decent mood, I feel semi at peace, my laziness is slowly drifting away and strangely enough, I didn’t have a shitty week or experience any wild shenanigans, positive things have been occurring for me.
On Saturday, I came home to a bunch of free samples in the mail, some edible and some inedible. I ordered some CBD cigarettes to try out, and they arrived along with my freebies. On Monday, I received a $7.11 check from a class action lawsuit I was eligible for. Can’t you see that I’ve finally been certified rich? That mink coat that’s been sitting in my online shopping cart? It has now been purchased!
To Sum Up:
Being outside felt like a short-lived vacation that I knew would ultimately end. Yet I still cherished those quiet moments of solitary. I used to loathe going outside when I had nothing to do, now I think walking around aimlessly without a destination in mind is pretty fucking cool.
Sometime in the summer, I’m planning on walking from Times Square back to my house in Brooklyn, it’ll take me about 2hrs and 34 minutes. I want to walk until my kneecaps melt. The good thing about walking that long is that the chances of me getting lost is slim to none. This is New York, there’s a train station on almost every block. Okay, you caught me, there isn’t a train station on almost every block! I’m being a bit facetious but train stations are pretty abundant in this city.
I’ll document my city hike and blog about it, so make sure to check back here and read all about it!